Reverence Read online

  Sitting motionless, I saw the demand in his stance. He was running out of patience and I was screwing this up.

  “I unknowingly got involved with a married man. I trusted him completely and I fell hard, really hard. And I can honestly say we were happy. He treated me …” I paused, terrified of saying the words to the man who was doing an incredible job of trying to make me forget. “He made me happy, we were happy.” Twisting the stem of my glass with nervous hands, Aiden picked up the bottle, filling my glass as the doors again opened and she-crab soup was delivered to the table. When we were alone, I continued bracing myself for his judgment. “When I found out he was married, I continued sleeping with him, but … he’d changed. Not only did he betray me, he started treating me like a possession. Our connection was broken. It continued for months. I was miserable and decided to do something about it. I finally broke it off …” I paused again, fear racing through me, “… the day I met you.”

  “You didn’t leave him for me,” he said matter-of-fact, spooning his soup.

  “No, I—”

  “I wasn’t asking. So he’s barely a ghost in your bed.” I felt the chill emulating from him. He looked up through a spoonful of the rich creamy soup and I nodded.

  “Okay,” he said seeming satisfied, nodding at me to resume my eating. I grabbed my spoon, relieved that much was out of the way.

  “Your turn.” His eyes matched the flame that flickered between us in the dark room as the sun disappeared from view.

  “I’m a habitual bachelor. I’ve never been married and I don’t want children. I don’t find it at all appealing. Marriage to me…” He shrugged his shoulders and swallowed his soup, “… it’s not something I’m capable of. I don’t know, maybe the right woman. I’m thirty-five so I really don’t see changing my mind. Maybe. I’ve had two serious girlfriends, both when I was in my twenties. Both relationships ended amicably.”

  He’s thirty-five. Devin is thirty-five. They aren’t brothers. I smiled broadly and damn near sobbed into my soup.

  “What is it?”

  “Nothing, tell me more.” I picked up the wine, refilling our glasses with enthusiasm as he studied me oddly. I was acting like a jackass. I would have to try harder to salvage our night.

  “Not exactly the reaction I’m used to when I declare that I’m a permanent bachelor.”

  “It doesn’t bother me. I just got out of that nightmare. I’m relieved you are this way. I won’t ever marry again, Aiden.” I felt a shiver down my spine as I said the words, more certain than ever of the truth of them.

  I had business sense. When it came to a hard cock, I had no sense. Only one of these things defined my future. For now, I would revel in the fact that I was a ravenous slut with an insatiable need, and this man seemed to want me just as much.

  He sat back in his seat, pushing his bowl away. “I look at you and I see differently.”

  I felt my cheeks heat at the sudden pressure of his words. “Aiden, I—”

  “Hear me out before you panic.”

  “Okay.”

  He grabbed my hand across the table. “I’m not declaring my love. It would be a lie. I’m not promising anything. But what I will tell you is when I’m with you, there is a new kind of calm in me. One I didn’t realize existed until you came along. I like it. I want to keep it around.” He lifted my hand to his lips and brushed them over my knuckles. That act alone had my pulse thumping between my thighs. Stroking a thumb over the top of my hand, his eyes turned molten. “And you have the most perfect tasting pussy I’ve ever had my mouth on. I don’t think I can wait past dinner to get another taste.”

  “Then please don’t wait,” I whispered.

  “Take this finger,” he said, stroking my index with his, “and put it inside you.”

  Without hesitating, I did what he asked, gasping at how much I needed to be touched, needed his touch. My clit was throbbing, begging for attention. Sensing me straying from his orders, he stopped me.

  “Don’t, that belongs to me. Now bring your finger to my lips, Nina.” Obliging, I lifted my hand over the table to his mouth and moaned as he sucked my finger eagerly. Kissing the pad of it, he let go, placing a chaste kiss on the inside of my palm and then rested his cheek in it.

  “I can’t say that you openly admitting to loving another man won’t make a difference. You say you are done and I choose to believe you. With any other woman, I would walk away. With you, it makes me burn.”

  “I didn’t know you existed.” My voice was small as I studied his perfect lips.

  “And now that you do?” he asked, pulling his face from my hand and making room for the plate of perfectly cooked tenderloin with béarnaise set out before us. The waiter disappeared and I couldn’t help but to hope we stayed uninterrupted. I was on fire for him, every muscle in my body tightening. The longer his eyes lingered on me, the more desperate I became to keep them there.

  “I wanted you from the minute I saw you, Aiden. That’s something. I won’t promise you anything, either, but I want the same. When I’m with you, I feel more like me.”

  “So we agree we give this a chance?” I nodded, my body reacting to his stare and peaking for him. My breasts felt like a heavy burden and my nipples ached.

  “Aiden, I need you.” My voice was hoarse, filled with desire. He stood abruptly and walked over to the banquet double doors, locking them. He took my hand, leading me out to the private balcony and sat on the couch. I straddled him at his urging as he slid his hands up under my dress and cupped my ass. He looked at with me with reverence. My chest expanded with an ache for only him.

  “Aiden, please, I can’t wait.” Towering over him on my knees, I stroked his full lips with my tongue, watching as the last of the sun’s rays danced off his golden hair. His fingers found purchase as he slid them through my drenched folds, his eyes never leaving my face, lighting a fire. Pushing me to sit over the hard bulge of his pants, he pulled out a heavy breast and sucked on the nipple eagerly then grazed his teeth back and forth over the taut flesh. Close to the edge, I grabbed the back of his head, grinding my pussy into his hand, my body begging as I breathed heavily. Riding his skilled fingers, I was near climax and just about to burst when he stilled them. “Stop,” he ordered as he withdrew from me. I paused on his lap. He moved underneath my dress, releasing his long thick cock. I gripped it with my hand with the intent on guiding myself down on him.

  “I want your mouth,” he said just as I aligned us. “Now, Nina, put my cock in your mouth.”

  Searching his eyes, confused and near combustion, I sank down on my knees on the unforgiving wooded deck, licked and parted my lips. Pulling roughly at my chin with his hand, he opened my mouth wide and shoved his entire length inside. I gagged through it as I looked up at him, sucking and gasping around his girth. He was hard, really hard, and his eyes told me he had no intention of relenting. He gripped the sides of my head as he fucked my mouth, thrusting up and choking me slightly. I regained control, gripping him with my hand that he swatted away.

  “Use your mouth, not your hand.” Scolding me further, he gripped my hair and the back of my head, forcing it down over his impressive length. It was animalistic and cruel, and I loved every minute.

  “When I get you home and you lead me to your bed,” he grunted pumping further into me, “I’m going to rip that fucking dress off and hurt you with this cock. Show me you want that, too. Suck it.” He thrust deep on his last words and I moaned, my eyes watering as he battered my throat, gripping me hard and shooting his orgasm in my mouth without warning. He pulled my hair harder, forcing me down to his root and slung his hips one final time as his salty cum coated my throat. I gasped as he pulled out of my mouth, wiping it with the back of my hand, looking up at him with surprise. He pulled me back into his lap, cupping my still exposed breast and pulling at the nipple with his teeth. Stifled by my reaction to his cruelty, I tilted my head back.

  “Dined like a lady and fucked like a whore.”

 
Knowing the truth in his words, I stopped moving my desperate body against his. He cupped my chin, concern in his eyes. “Is this what you need?”

  I nodded without admitting it with words. I was suddenly ashamed of my hunger, my thirst for this type of sex, and I had only had it with one other man.

  “Why did you try to hide this from me?”

  “I don’t know. I was this way for him. I felt like it was wrong to be the same with you.”

  “It’s preference,” he said simply, “and it’s what you need. I can satisfy that desire thoroughly and as often as you need it.”

  It struck me then, I was a fucking fiend and he knew it.

  He was going to leave me hungry.

  I felt a small shift in power then. Was I really capable of giving the power to him?

  “Can we please just finish our dinner?” I asked, straightening my dress. He nodded, adjusting his beautiful dick back in his pants. Standing, I turned to look at him, the moon now shining bright and full above us, the fires around us burning steadily. We stared at each other for long moments, understanding passing between us in silent agreement. He had claimed me once again with his declaration of power.

  Aiden moved past me, kissing the top of my bare shoulder. It seemed we had relaxed more as dinner progressed. We shared dessert back on the patio and laughed as we finished another bottle of wine on the loveseat near the fire pit.

  “What made you get into music?” I asked, then added another question. “And you said you were offered a deal, but why didn’t you take it?”

  He seemed deep in thought as he moved his fingers between mine playfully. “It didn’t appeal to me, endless hours in the studio, the unforgiving road. I’m happy with the small crowd.”

  “You are immensely talented, Aiden. It’s kind of a disservice to the world.” He chuckled as he pulled me closer to him on the couch.

  “I wouldn’t go that far, but I’m flattered you think so.” He wrapped his arms around me as we settled in, staring at the fire pit in front of us, the flames licking the air in a greedy dance.

  “Thank you for dinner, it was excellent.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Looking up at his chiseled features and full lips, I sighed. “So the girl that you said you would call, the one you were talking to before you took me in the street, should I be questioning you about her?”

  His slow smile told me he was pleased with my question. “She used to bartend at the Mystic. She wanted her job back. I didn’t call.” I nodded, watching his fingers lace with mine. “I think I like you inquisitive and slightly jealous.”

  “You started this, Aiden. Can’t take it back now.” His chest rumbled with light laughter. “I wouldn’t want to.” He pulled me closer and attached our lips, slowly opening our kiss into something more. I tasted his smooth, playful tongue fully and pulled away. “Aiden, I like what you do to me, no matter how you do it, please know that.”

  “Listen, Nina.” He twisted my body to make sure I heard him. “I’m not worried about who’s had you or who you’ve had. What matters now is I want you. I want you and I want to give you what you need. Fuck the rest of it. It will all fall into place the way it’s supposed to.”

  I nodded, my eyes filling with emotion. “Come on.” He stood up, cradling me and gently lowering me to my feet. “I’ll take you home.” He kissed me deeply again and we stood wrapped up in each other, listening to the soothing melody of the Atlantic.

  DEVIN

  “You are not concentrating,” Walker said as I recovered from his last blow. I was furious now. I lunged toward him on the mat at neck-breaking speed and landing a hard blow to his chin. He flew back, but recovered swiftly, sweeping my legs out from under me.

  “Getting mad about it isn’t going to help your case,” he chuckled, hitting me with a right and then a left on the ground before springing back to his feet. I was on my feet in seconds. I purposely slowed my breathing, blocking everything out.

  With the help of silent clarity, I stepped forward, waiting on Walker’s inevitable slip. As soon as he dropped his knee—a telltale sign of a right punch—I dodged it and brought my gloved fist around, resuming my fury. I landed one after the other, pounding my coach into oblivion.

  “Fuck,” he declared, spitting a mouthful of blood on the mat before narrowing his eyes. I braced myself for his body shot and took it with a grunt before he nailed me once again to the mat.

  “Is it a woman, McIntyre? Oh, what the fuck am I asking, of course it is. Is the missus set on a summer in the Hamptons and you wanted Europe?”

  Jesus, this idiot had no clue. He was a roughneck from Detroit and apparently thought talking to me like that was rough speak to us privileged folk. I didn’t have the strength to tell him that it was my ex–mistress, not my wife, and chuckled at the thought right before he backhanded me with his glove for the fuck of it.

  I deserved that hit. She wasn’t just an ex-mistress.

  And he was right. My head wasn’t in it, but that didn’t keep him from punishing me for the last five minutes of our session.

  “You make me regret taking you on,” he said, grabbing his water and spilling half of it over his face and chest.

  “I pay you, so your opinion really isn’t that important.” I stared at Adam Walker as he looked back at me with no humor. He wasn’t happy. Well, that made two of us.

  “You have shit going on, understandable, but this is where you are supposed to twist it to your advantage. Dig deep.”

  “Do I get brownies and milk with this after school special speech?” I took my gloves off, disgusted. I’d never landed so few punches.

  “Seriously…” Adam walked away. He knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere. “Bring your A game or don’t come back next time, McIntyre. I’ve taught you better and I need a partner worth sparring with.”

  I grabbed my bag and sped out of the parking lot, heading toward downtown. Eileen had called twice, but I had no intention of returning the calls. The threat was always there. Maybe tonight she would ruin what was left of my life and maybe I’d fucking let her. I was so over the whole thing. I could stack my chips, cash in, and let the rest scatter around me. I wasn’t even interested in my current clients and found no thrill in rolling the dice for them. What had been my driving force for so long, the reason behind my inability to keep Nina, now appealed to me less and less. What did it really matter if I couldn’t do what I “loved” anymore if I could no longer look at it the same.

  Pulling up to my home, I was greeted by a stack of mail before heading to the bathroom for a hot shower. I was completely useless these days. I wasn’t doing a fucking thing to further my career because all my thoughts were occupied by a woman who’d made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me. I had a decision to make. I could fight for her, or move on.

  I could get laid. That would help. Fuck some stray, make her come, make myself feel better. The only problem was, my dick only got hard to thoughts of her. I stood in the shower, letting the hot water hit me.

  Nina, fuck.

  I gripped my cock, thinking about the first time I saw her out after we’d slept together.

  It was at a charity auction. Some fucking half assed attempt for one of my partner’s wives to do her good bidding for the year. The items up for bid were strange and morbid, and I had no interest in any of them. I was there to support my partner’s wife, and possibly get a little networking done. I hadn’t called Nina since that day, though it had been less than a week. Seeing her, I instantly felt guilty. It wasn’t that I hadn’t wanted to. I just didn’t want her getting used to it. We’d made no promises. I was already worried about the repercussions of that day and how much I’d wanted her since.

  One look from her as she gathered her paddle let me know she wasn’t interested in excuses. I gaped at her in a floor length, off the shoulder red gown. She was fucking stunning. I walked over without hesitation, thankful my wife had a headache. I didn’t know how I would handle it when we all came fa
ce to face. I would have to tell her the truth and soon.

  She plastered a smile on her face as I approached.

  “Devin, how are you?”

  “Don’t. Don’t do that,” I scorned.

  “Do what?” she replied, absently looking around us.

  “Don’t pretend to be happy to see me when I fucked up. And get that fake fucking smile off your face. Your real smile is much better.”

  She stared at me with daggers in her eyes and I smirked. “I knew you were pissed.”

  She turned away from me and I began to panic. Only she elicited that feeling from me.

  “I’ve thought about you every day.” This time I was looking around for the pussy who said that. When I realized the pussy was me, I cleared my throat.

  Her eyes burned with anger when she looked back at me. “How convenient for you to admit as much now,” she hissed as she leaned down toward the silent auction tables in front of us, pretending to inspect the items for bid, picking up the pen to make and offer here and there.

  I cleared my throat again. “Actually, this is very inconvenient, my partners are here. Can I see you after this?”

  She scoffed as she leaned in again, penning another offer.

  “Nina, you won’t make friends by throwing your money away.”

  “I’m trying, Devin, okay.” She looked around, keeping her voice low. “I’ve done everything I can think of. I’ve joined their fucking clubs, given my money, offered a free hand. I don’t know what else to do.” She was out of her element and completely unsure of herself. I hated it.

  “Come,” I said, taking her politely by the arm. I brought her over to another client, knowing in the back of my mind it was a bad idea. Everyone knew my wife.

  “Nina Scott, this is Victoria Stoddard. She is the chair of the Admiral’s Club. I don’t believe you told me you’ve met. Nina owns Scott Solutions.” Victoria looked at me assumingly and I handed her more ammo. “Nina is with my firm. Please excuse me, ladies. I have to make a call.” I walked away before Victoria could ask about my wife’s whereabouts. I considered leaving, but when I looked back from the bar, Victoria had already left her side. She probably smelled the fear on Nina, who was searching the crowd for me. When her eyes landed on mine, I saw the relief. I ordered a drink and when I looked up, she was gone. The lights flashed, signaling the auction was beginning. I went inside, seeing her red dress to the right of me. I didn’t brave a glance. I was painfully aware of how far she was from me. I was playing a dangerous game. I didn’t give a fuck, though, because I wanted her.