Hindrance Read online

  “You still love me, Nina.”

  “Don’t do this, Devin.” She shook her head as her hand made its way down in an effort to relieve her ache. I grabbed it and kissed it front and back.

  “I waited a year to touch you, knowing it was wrong. Knowing that I was a married man, that all I had to offer you was a hard on and a headache.” I leaned in again, knowing she was still on the verge, and spread her gently, licking up one of her folds and down the other. “You see, I know how to fuck, and I know how to please a woman.” I darted my tongue around everywhere but where she needed it. “But I’ve never been so fucking satisfied as I was when I had your perfect cunt trembling around my cock.” I darted my tongue on her clit and took it off right before she came. Her tears were coming fast now, out of frustration and hurt. “It didn’t take me long to figure out why it felt so good, so different, and so totally fucking perfect. Can you tell me why?”

  She was in no shape to answer. “Take out my cock, Nina.” She lifted up, slowly unbuckling my belt and unzipping my pants, freeing me and stroking me with our eyes locked.

  “Why, Nina? Why did it feel so fucking good when I was inside you?”

  Her face was burning with heat, her eyes darting to my mouth as I whispered, “Why? Tell me why.”

  Her tears continued as I gripped the top of the leather seat behind her shoulders. Eyes still connected, I sank into her, filling her tight, wet, greedy pussy. She grabbed my hips, trying her best to control my thrusts as I remained still, throbbing, eager for more. “Answer me!”

  “It was love,” she cried. “It was love.” The defeat in her voice fueled me as I kept a slow pace, punishing her without her deserving it. I leaned in, taking her mouth, moving my tongue against hers in sweet fluidity as I pushed deep. I hooked my arms under her thighs, pulling her closer and circling my hips so I could feel all of her.

  “And why does it feel so good now, Nina?” Face straining with her impending release, she dug her nails into my arms. Need built, but I fought for control as I stilled again. “Nina,” I ordered in a menacing plea of my own.

  “It’s still love.” She wrapped her arms around my neck as I pulled her off the seat and onto my waiting lap. She lifted up and down achingly slow as we got lost in each other. I braced myself as she came, wanting it to last. I pulled her bottom lip in between my teeth and gripped her ass, impaling her as her orgasm continued on and on until she broke in my arms.

  “It’s still love,” she whispered again as her limbs shook and her insides twitched. Gripping me tighter, she hugged me to her as I continued stroking deep, her clit rubbing along my hardness as one orgasm led to another and another until she was limp in my arms. My arms wrapped around her and I held her tightly to me as we both let out moans of appreciation.

  Refusing to give in to myself, I pushed deeper as I pulled her hair so she was forced to look at me. Seeing a small slip in her resolve, I reached in and sipped her lips before my next confession, still driving into her as hard as I could.

  “You are all I want.” I licked the shell of her ear. “You are all I will ever want.” With one last push, I gave her the rest of me. “It is love, Nina.”

  Leaving us connected, I twisted us around so I was sitting on the long, leather seat and she was resting on my lap. After a few quiet moments, she looked up at me, her face stained with mascara and her hairline damp, a sign of her exertion.

  “How could I ever trust you again?”

  “Just give me some time. I’ll try to be the man you deserve.”

  Her small laugh had me looking at her in confusion. “Devin, no offense, but you aren’t exactly the white picket fence type of man.”

  “And that’s neither what you want or need from me, is it?”

  Looking at her, for the first time in forever, I saw a new future. She lay curled on my lap, vulnerable and raw and absolutely beautiful. This was the woman I fell for.

  “Why now?”

  I brushed her hair away from her face then gave her the truth. “I never saw a way out, until I realized what I feel for you was my way out.”

  “What does that mean?” Her voice was still a whisper.

  “I’ll show you.” She seemed relieved that I was offering action instead of words. It was the only way to prove it to her. She moved from my lap and straightened her dress. I pulled up my pants and grabbed my jacket. “No more closets, no more scandal, and no more hiding. Until I can give you that, I won’t touch you again.”

  A whole new expression crossed her face as she mulled over my words. When I was satisfied she’d really heard me, I took her lips again, moving my tongue slowly over hers, closing the kiss when we both were struck with renewed arousal.

  I smiled down at her, knowing her wheels were turning with new scenarios. She looked back at me, her lips slowly turning up at the sides before her expression evened out. She was still fighting it and probably would be for a long time to come. I both expected and respected her for it. Regardless of what she thought, I knew her strong appetite never really outweighed her reasoning. She saw her hunger as a weakness, but it only made her more irresistible to me. In my eyes, only a truly strong woman could acknowledge her desire to be dominated and admit her thirst for it. She’d become more accepting of that and I couldn’t help but wonder if that motherfucker had anything to do with it. I let her see the anger flash in my eyes. I’d unleashed the hunger in her and I had no intention of letting another man reap the benefits. It relieved me to know Aiden was no longer a threat. He’d ended it.

  Smart move, motherfucker.

  Regardless, I wouldn’t let him near her again.

  “Wait for me,” I implored one last time before I took my leave of the limo. She didn’t give me an answer, but she didn’t need to. Her refusal to do so fueled me all the more.

  I drove off in my Audi with a renewed sense of purpose. I had moves to make.

  NINA

  Love.

  Devin.

  Loves me.

  And I fucked him. I fucked him … again. I stood in the shower for the second time this morning in a daze. Devin’s words circulated through my mind, his touch reverberating throughout my body as I stood stunned. My mind was at war with my heart, and both were in complete upheaval. My heart ripped through the grave, grasping for air as my mind continued to shovel dirt on top of it, both with their own screaming opinions, leaving me eager for silence.

  That was Devin: a perfect storm of everything I did and didn’t want. And I’d given him hope, and found myself hoping as well.

  “I’m leaving her.”

  Oh, God, if that was the truth, what did that make me? Next?

  Even if I didn’t believe Devin was capable of doing the same thing to me, even if I believed his intent, could I respect myself for trying with him? It had never been an option for me before. That option had flown right out the window the minute I saw Eileen naked on his desk. And even before that, he’d warned me we could never be more.

  Wake up, Nina!

  What the hell had I done letting him back into my bed? Jesus, help me if I didn’t want him there now. Devin promised me answers and a better version of himself before that would ever happen. He’d never so much as promised me I’d see him again when we were dating, and now he was asking for a future.

  And you believed him?

  If there was an award for self-loathing, I would wipe out the competition. I climbed back into the limo, noting it was still fairly early, and I would make good time to the office. All that drama and my day hadn’t even really started yet.

  “Carson, play something, anything.”

  “Yes, Ms. Scott.” Relief washed through me as classical piano came drifting through the speakers. I didn’t recognize it but was thankful it didn’t have the ability to jog any memories.

  He loves me. Now he loves me. Now he’s sorry. Now that he knows I’d been fucking his cousin. Was this some sick competition? I’d been so desperate for release, I’d begged him to fuck me only for it to
turn into the most intense lovemaking I’d ever experienced, and by a man who reassured me time and again he wasn’t capable. I closed my eyes, trying desperately to erase his lips from my neck, his gentle tongue, his tender touch as he explored me. Those eyes, those beautiful eyes that coveted me, worshiped me. Why was he doing this to me? Why was I letting him?

  “FUCK!”

  Carson jumped in his seat, keeping his hands on the wheel as he eyed me in the rearview mirror. I put up the partition to avoid further embarrassment. Carson was no fool to my behavior after several of my encounters with Devin. He’d seen me silently cry, seen the evidence of our relationship in my appearance and behavior. If he hated Devin, he had a right to. Taylor had caught on as well. These people cared for me and showed as much in their contempt for him.

  And once again I’d let the devil have my body, lie to me with his gold dipped tongue—an upgrade from silver due to this morning’s thorough showcase.

  No, I wouldn’t believe him yet. I refused to. My mind won this round. But my pounding heart reminded me seein’ is believin’ and if Devin made good on his word … well, I would cross that bridge when I came to it. Even if it made me the biggest fool, even if it ended the rest of me, I was still very much in love with that man.

  And he loves me.

  Even obsessing over Devin, I felt the sadness creep in for the man who had accompanied me last night, held my hand, and promised me a dance I would never receive.

  Aiden.

  I shook my head in denial with the way it played out. Aiden hadn’t even given ending our relationship a second thought. But he was in the right.

  And I had, after all, just this morning bedded his cousin.

  Was I even capable of being faithful anymore?

  And even if I had denied Devin, I would have been faithful to a memory. Aiden ended it. I had no one to be faithful to. And yet, it still felt wrong. But being with Devin in those moments had never felt so right.

  Aiden wanted me, treasured me, and treated me so beautifully. There was a definite connection between us, sexually and emotionally.

  But I had to face the truth. Aiden and Devin were connected as well. And though I was dying of curiosity, I would probably never get the truth out of either of them. Devin had promised to tell me everything. And then asked that I hand over the land.

  Bastard.

  Was this what he was after? Jesus, would he go to such lengths to get his way? I wasn’t for sale. He could keep his sordid fucking tale and he and his cousin could fight it out on their own. I would hold onto that land until my deathbed. It was priceless to me now. If Devin’s virtue was true, then he would have to prove it around his fucking agenda. I’d set this test, and sit back.

  Yes, by all means, show me, Devin.

  I felt the bitterness surface. This was me jaded and afraid of myself, of him, and the damage of giving him another chance. I had no choice in my racing thoughts now and my tortured heart felt completely ripped, torn pieces cracking continually for a different man. Is it even possible to love two men at once? My mind thought it incomprehensible, but my heart disagreed as it beat in my chest, reminding me that they both had a piece of it. I’d only scratched the surface with Aiden; perhaps that’s why I felt such an ache for him. With Devin I’d learned what I’d lost, what I thought was an imaginary bond we shared. And this morning he was trying his best to convince me it was real.

  God, it felt so real. I scrubbed my face in disgust.

  Whatever game this was, in order to play, I had to get a grip.

  The sick, needy nymph I had turned into was ruling my life. My anger at myself brought me to one conclusion: love should not be this complicated. Fuck them both. I needed neither of them!

  Says the sated Nina.

  I took Carson’s hand as I stepped out of the limo, making my way into my building and stood frozen in reception.

  “AARON!” He turned with a knowing grin in my direction and I went running into his waiting arms.

  “Oh, God, if you only knew how fucking happy I am to see you!” I wiped my tears away with one hand while hugging him furiously with my other arm still clasped around him, unafraid of my use of language. Genuine relief swept through me as I surveyed my brother. He looked so much better than the last time I’d seen him. He’d been heartbroken, and as a result his smiles hadn’t quite reached his eyes. But that all seemed irrelevant as his eyes beamed down at me now. It gave me hope.

  “What’s a matter, mutt?” He chuckled as he pulled away. Aaron was the spitting image of my father, thirty years younger with a Roman nose, blue eyes, and dark brown hair that was cropped short. He was a full foot and half taller than me, but with a thin frame. I soaked in his favorite attire: collared polo, golf shorts, and loafers, which he lovingly referred to as his ‘gear.’ It was a look he had mastered and hadn’t bothered to change since his teens.

  “Why didn’t you call?”

  “I just got in this morning. You were my first stop.” Aaron lived in Florida. He’d followed his college sweetheart out there when she landed her first real job and when they broke up he’d stayed, claiming he loved it. I had begged him to come home, but I think it was more or less an excuse to stay away from our parents, and the fact that he’d held onto hope that they would reconcile.

  “Let me check in with Taylor and we can leave. Come with me. You have to meet her.” We boarded the elevator and I looked over at him.

  “How is Florida?” I asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

  “Sunny all the time,” he bit out quickly. I would never get him to change his mind.

  “You’ve returned every check I’ve sent you. Accounting keeps asking me why I bother.” I nudged him roughly so he would look at me.

  “I don’t need you to take care of me. I’m just so grateful you got Mom situated, though you shouldn’t have.”

  “I did it for Dad.” He nodded. “I know.” When the elevator door opened, Taylor was waiting on it.

  “Morning, bos— Nina.” She smiled and I felt my brother stiffen next to me. I didn’t need to look at him to know he was fixated. Taylor was breathtaking. Today she wore a little racier attire. Her thigh high skirt accentuated her beautifully toned legs, along with killer heels. Her hair was left down, and was the perfect shade of deep red, that matched her lipstick. I had to admit, even I was taken aback by the siren who greeted us. We stepped out and when I introduced them, Aaron was just slightly more formidable than a drooling idiot. Taylor gave him a small smile and boarded the now empty car.

  “Nice to meet you. I assume you will be spending the day with him?” Guilt quickly settled over me that again, I would be neglecting work.

  Taylor gave me a knowing smile. “You have nothing pressing. Go. I’ll reschedule the PA interview. I know you need this.”

  “Taylor,” I offered in apology.

  “Door’s closing,” she said, winking at Aaron who turned to me.

  “FUCK ME, FUCK ME, Nina. That is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Why the hell didn’t you tell me?!”

  “Tell you what? I have a hot assistant. Well, she’s technically not my assistant anymore. I made her partner.” Walking into my office, I looked back and saw my brother staring at the closed elevator. “She’s out of your league, bro.”

  Hearing an indignant “hmpf,” he turned and took a seat in my office. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

  “It’s not that, it’s that she’s really …” God, how to describe Taylor … “Independent.”

  “I dig that in a woman.”

  “Aaron, she’s not your type,” I said, trying to close the subject.

  “That’s not what I just saw.” Ignoring him, I opened my email and answered a few that had to be dealt with. I wasn’t losing this precious time with my brother.

  “I’m proud of you, Nina.” He was looking right at me as I peered over the screen.

  “Don’t be, if you only knew what I’ve turned into.” Swallowing the lump in my throat, I continued.
“I’ll make you proud.”

  Frowning, he pushed out a breath. “What’s going on, Nina?” Shaking my head, I hit send on my last email and looked up smiling.

  “Nothing.”

  “We are getting nowhere fast. You are as elusive as Mom right now.” Narrowing my eyes, I scolded him.

  “Don’t ever compare me to her.” It wasn’t a request.

  “Okay, well, stop pretending everything is okay when it’s not and talk to me.”

  “Geez, don’t you want ten minutes of normal? What about you? Why the sudden visit?” Shrugging, he stood up and walked around my office.

  “I don’t have another tournament for few weeks and wanted to see you. Do I need an excuse?” Aaron was a semi-pro golfer and in his spare time he worked odd jobs. He had a carefree life and I suddenly envied that about him.

  “No, I’m sorry. I’m so happy you’re home.” Turning off my PC, I gathered my purse. “Come on. I’m all yours today. What should we do first?”

  “I have tee time at Dunes in two hours. I didn’t want to pass it up. How about breakfast?”

  “Come on! How long are you here?” I put my hands on my hips as he walked past me, knowing he was in the shit house.

  “Until Tuesday, so back off.” He pulled my arm off my hip to drag me back to the elevator. “We’ll hit the waves too while I’m here.”

  Aaron and I shared a deep mutual love for the water. We spent a good amount of time every summer at the beach together until I left for college. Still, I couldn’t help but feel the small tug in my chest at the memory of my last time in the water with Aiden.

  Twenty minutes later, we were seated at Poogan’s Porch, sipping coffee on the patio. It was just cool enough to be comfortable.

  Aaron looked over the menu with clear prejudice.

  “They have eggs and bacon, simpleton,” I piped as he gave me a wary eye.

  “I just don’t think it’s necessary to add all this shit to eggs.”

  “Then order eggs with no shit.” His lips curled up at the sides and I knew I had him. I felt deep relief with my brother’s presence. Now this was a man who knew me. The uncorrupted pre-millionaire who was more preoccupied in bettering herself and whose hardest choice of the day was what to cook for dinner.